Saturday, October 29, 2016

Trusting in God during these Miscarriages

In August, we found out we were expecting again, only to find out at our 8 week ultrasound that we would miscarry. Then, in October I found out again that I was expecting. It made the previous miscarriage easier, because I thought maybe God just scrapped the first model for a better body for our baby. I also felt that this one was a boy (a strange thing in a house with 5 girls).

I was taking a test every week, and three weeks went by with positive results. My heart started hoping again. Then, I took another test and it was negative. I was devastated, and cried a lot...and listened to Lauren Daigle's "Trust inYou" song on repeat. A friend shared a scripture that has really helped me: Hosea 11:3-4 "Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down and fed them."

I know God is a tender parent, and hurts when we are hurting. Just as I scoop my baby up in my arms and kiss her cheeks when she tumbles, God is seeking to comfort and strengthen me. I have felt my heavy heart lightened and my faith increase. I know that someday God will wipe away all the tears from our eyes (Revelations 21:4) and all will make sense. This picture of Ryan cradling his daughter warms my heart... I am sure God is even more tender to each of us.

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